My alabaster jar

Hello there. This is my first blog post and I should probably start by introducing myself. I'm Susan, a twenty-something Jesus follower who is about to embark on a crazy new adventure in Thailand. In less than 2 weeks I will be stepping onto a plane and into the unknown. But actually it won't be completely unknown. My God is all-knowing and He is already there.

But let's back up for a second. You're probably wondering how I got here. Why Thailand? I can't exactly tell you why, just that from the first time I set foot in Thailand I felt an incredible connection to the place, the people. The darkness and hopelessness I saw haunted me, and I knew that only the light of the gospel could bring hope. After my second short term missions trip to Thailand I was ready to pack my bags and move there. Thank God that His timing is not our timing. As a naive 21 year old I still had a lot to learn. I would like to say that I was not ready then but I still don't feel ready now, 6 years later. Fast forward to last year September. I visited a friend in Vietnam and also went to Singapore. And I was done for. Asia captured me again, heart and soul. I knew without a doubt that God was calling me there. In the months that followed the burden grew stronger and stronger for the millions yet unreached. What am I doing in a country flooded with light when there are those in Asia and specifically Thailand who still sit in darkness? Much prayer, tears and conversations followed and I decided to seriously pursue going to Thailand.  

And so here I am. Less than two weeks away from taking a step of radical obedience. Obedience without much clarity. Like Peter I am stepping out of the boat with my eyes on Jesus. At times I feel like if I look around too much I will most certainly drown. But even in my doubts and 'what have I done?!' moments I know God is still holding me. I need to keep my eyes on Him and not on the seemingly impossible circumstances. 

As I pour out the alabaster jar of my life it is His power in me that sustains me. I embrace Paul's words in 2 Corinthians 5:7 - we walk by faith and not by sight. And right now it seems like God is only revealing each step as I take it. But He knows the road mapped out for me. He is sovereign. And He is teaching me so much in this. Trusting Him. Being wholly dependent on Him. Having faith, like Abraham, that He won't lead me somewhere and then leave me to fend for myself. Obeying so that He gets the glory. And that is my ultimate prayer, that God would be glorified. That Christ will have the prize for which He died - an inheritance of nations. Let's do this!

"Faith is not intelligent understanding; faith is deliberate commitment to a Person, where I see no way." 

-Oswald Chambers